Men on a Mental Health Mission with Dr Zain Reddiar
LDH had the privilege of sitting with the dynamic and highly sought-after HR specialist and internationally certified life coach, Dr Zain Reddiar. In honour of Men's Mental Health Awareness Month, Dr Reddiar shared his insights and experiences, shedding light on why men, as a collective, are standing at a crucial crossroads where they must "break down their self-imposed barriers and embrace vulnerability."
Diving into the conversation, Zain emphasized that he only knows about Men's Mental Health Awareness Month because of his profession: "There is little conscious awareness or acceptance of it, particularly in South Africa with its diverse languages and cultures." Zain pointed out that we have adopted specific roles due to cultural and religious definitions. In a thought-provoking statement, he acknowledged that while he advocates for women, who often face challenges in patriarchal societies, men also find themselves vulnerable.
Men on a Mental Health Mission with Dr Zain Reddiar
Additionally, women may excel in the workplace, but there can be a mismatch between their professional experiences and the traditional roles they are expected to fulfil due to societal constructs. "This is where men often find themselves in a dilemma—how can they engage with an empowered woman while holding onto traditional outlooks at home? As a society, we haven't given enough attention to nurturing relationships as the world evolves."
Moreover, Zain noted that men have not prioritized their mental health as diligently as women have for several years. He further highlighted the challenge of undoing deeply ingrained gender roles within a relatively short period: "We have given life to certain roles for men and women, and while we need to start somewhere, we must exercise patience."
On this profound note, Zain emphasized the importance of men becoming more self-aware and taking responsibility for their mental well-being. When asked about creating space for men to feel acknowledged and visible, he shared some intriguing insights:
“We need to revisit our origins and how we were designed. As human beings, vulnerability and social connection are inherent to us. We thrive on love and positive experiences. One crucial step is unravelling personal mastery. When we examine our intelligence quotient, emotional quotient, spiritual quotient, and adaptability quotient, we often emphasize one over the others when they should be balanced. Men tend to have imbalances in these areas.
We must not mistake physical strength for courage. Strength leads us to build walls around us, while courage enables us to step beyond those walls and embrace vulnerability and discomfort. This is how we embark on a journey towards better mental health as men."
Drawing from his personal journey of healing after losing his incredible wife two years ago, Zain shared how he continues to navigate this process. "My wife did an incredible job raising our sons, and in my opinion, I contributed very little. As I see clients and offer them advice, I strive to apply the same principles in my life. However, being responsible for everything my wife managed so efficiently while also working has made my healing journey challenging. In an effort to help other men through my own story, I am currently writing a book titled 'A Man's Journey to Widowhood,' which is providing some healing for me as I write."
As our conversation drew to a close, Zain left us with two practical suggestions for men on their journey to better mental health:
Surround yourself with mature friendships with women who can offer you a different perspective on the world.
Don't hesitate to ask for help. Often, we lack because we do not seek assistance.
Let us unite and embrace vulnerability to support one another and break down the barriers hindering men's mental well-being.